Trials temper - as fire and furnace does to steel and clay. Sometimes blogs are best with fewer words to convey - what is in the heart.
Scenes Confessing:In honest, transparently - I wanted them to come clean and do the right thing and reconcile. And if they refused I would become free to tell the world just how vile they have been to me and thus my family. Either way would be a Happy Ending.
A spontaneous prayer for my persecutors:
One of my accusers is pregnant, bless her with a safe delivery and healthy child.
Another of my accusers seems to be an angry, over-reacting man - bless him with freedom from being a slave to sinning in his anger.
Another of my accusers has done much in your name, bless her with your Love flowing through her being and the greatest gift of hearing - on judgment day, "Well done my good and faithful servant." Amen, amen, amen...
And bless those who could have helped avoid this South Dakota Saga but didn't. Bless them with the courage to do what is right in the future and make good on past mistakes, no matter what the consequences now. Help them see the weight of the consequences later.
A two day jury trial is set for a week away, regardless of the outcome - I choose a Happy Ending knowing that I can go on with my honesty and integrity intact and that of my accusers and accomplices are forever marred until they face the music.
Epilogue:
Dragons roar tries to drown out Lady Wisdom's song. "Fear not for Father fights for you. Take courage no matter what they say or do. Choose Love..."
Coming Up Next:It's Not Over...'til The Fat Angel Sings!
Warned that to bring this out in the open “will cause a breach” in the “movement”. Oh contraire, to cover up the stubborn breach that is already there is to enable the debilitating dysfunction. Warning: to not air out and cleanse the stench and slime from the bowels of a backed up "movement" is to ignore the cancer of pride, hoping it will just go away, and in the end where will that lead to? What happened to “respect – for – life” outside the womb?
My mother took pills my Dad was told would "take care of it." That 'it' was and is me. In my journey of discovery I have sacrificed much to help bring truth, life, love, hope and healing to others. And this organization who had me charged and jailed knew this truth…this ongoing court case has been quite disturbing, the whole thing traumatizing to me and my family.
Scenes Passing:Stateside Serenade
A prominent member of a pro-life organization in the U.S. returned my phone call, welcomed me to come down, agreed to help me with interviews and more. This encouragement seemed to confirm my sense of calling to go and film for my documentary. But not only to film, I offered to help wherever I could. I filled out an online form and my background and identity was questioned and confirmed in a lengthy second call on speaker phone by two volunteers from the organization, one even identified himself as being a lawyer. Here I gave my references for the second time and was told by this lawyer and 'star' volunteer that as a volunteer I'd be staying with him. Enthusiastically I spoke of the song I had to share which I'd written with a heightened sense of God's call on my life after my previous encouraging conversation. It was with love and respect for God and all people, regardless of their point of view or past experience that I journeyed to the U.S. of A.
My journey through the abortion debate has been one of sacrifice for both my wife, children and I. We've sold our home, and lived by faith with no regular income, getting an education, and expressing and educating in creative, artistic ways helping bring truth, informed choice, love, light, hope and healing - all the while consciously trying to keep a low public, media profile for fear of rejection and persecution as you'll see echoed in the song lyrics below. I also wanted to meet with and get to know "pro-choice" people without them prejudging me for my background or point of view. Most people I met where very kind to me. I wanted honest interviews from them. I didn't lie about who I was - I didn't offer information that wasn't asked for. I made it very clear to all that I was "interviewing people on both sides of the abortion debate and presenting them as they present themselves." - truthfully, yet respectfully.
After 14 years since my journey began I was now willing to "lay down my life" before the whole world, even with the media looking on. I would not push myself but if given the opportunity I would be prepared to share my heart, my story, and my song in love and a much needed spirit of repentance towards women. In the least I hoped to be an encouragement to the volunteers. This song was written as a gift to share but my presence and the gift I had was aborted by the very organization I had came to bless. I was able to share the lyrics with a founding member of the organization in question before the incident. This kind woman was moved by the lyrics, and offered to pay me back the $100 bail after I'd gotten out of jail. I'd like to record and share this song with you in the next post in the series and am hoping for a somewhat happy ending to this saga.
Please Forgive Me On Behalf Of All Men
Oh here we go – I’m going to answer the call ‘Cause a woman deserves the deepest respect of all I’m going to love women – make the highest choice Lay down my life and be love’s voice
Chorus: Please Forgive Me On Behalf Of All Men Who’ve been disrespectful, irresponsible, cowards Please Forgive Me On Behalf Of All Men We’ve been disrespectful, irresponsible, cowards
Oh here we go – I’m going to answer the call ‘Cause a person’s a person no matter how small I’m going to love women – make the highest choice Lay down my life and be love’s voice Chorus
Bridge: Love God, love the truth – the opposite is true History, future proves what I say to you I was afraid to speak the truth – bound by self-preservation Living only half a life – afraid of persecution
Punishment Fits The Crime in every case, in every place, and dark hearted, light skinned man has never ruled over his darker skinned brother in the name of God in the name of love - a truer meaning of using the Lord's name in vain. Many dehumanizing desecraters of human decency and respect go free - for now. Many innocent human beings pay the price for another man's pride, hate, and greed. Yet many turn from their wrongs and give and receive - receive and give - forgiveness through Christ and all go free as it should be…
Coming Up Next:
"Happy Ending...?"OR
Punishment Fits The Crime: #3 in the Series PART III
Not an infiltrating agent, nor part of the biblically debasing borg. We are all active players or puppets on whatever stage we may find ourselves in life. Life is a gift and though as a child I may have found more pleasure in playing with the box, no longer a child, the box has been discarded and I now hold the gift in my grateful hands, nurturing. Life is to be truly lived; to shrink back in fear or to have lived a lie would be death.
Scenes Passing:Stateside Saga
"Just pay the fine and go home” - ”Some people say they are one thing and then turn out to be another” – “I had to apologize to my congregation for having invited you in and let you stay with people” - ”You reap what you sow" so said the pastor who had previously been an encouragement to me and welcomed me to come stateside. Previous to what has become a sad Stateside Saga I had thought of this man as ‘finally a pastor who’d gotten the spiritual significance of abortion and was educating and doing something about it’ but after hearing my accusers side of the story, people he’d been working closely with, my name became mud. True this pastor has gone to the people responsible to see if they’d help get the charges dropped, I’m thankful to him and the many who have tried that.
What I’ve asked for is an apology for the unkind words, and misjudgment. I’m still waiting. We can have all the knowledge in the world but if we have not love…if we have not the humility to say, “Sorry I was wrong” – then sadly we have a puffed up prideful nothing. And what’s been communicated to me is that in some eyes I’m nobody worth apologizing to. Perhaps the jury is still out with this man on his judgment of me as false accusations mar reality.
What did John the Baptist do to reap his beheading? What did Jesus sow to reap his crucifixion? What did I...Exactly...(Now I'm not equating myself being even close to these two but...) As John and Jesus where, so am I innocent of the charges and not deserving any punishment here. Now this saga hardly warrants scapegoating or any time and attention by the courts, you or me but for the questions to be asked and for the deeper lessons to be learned – Aborted Artist The Movie, and the book wait for it!
We interrupt this poetic license to drive for this journalistic, in depth heart...
'Breaking News Update'
My jury trial set for three days before my birthday was bumped by a murder trial, without looking closely at the case a judge denied the 'conditional dismissal' request and a two day jury trial has been set for May. Thank you to all the people across the U.S. and Canada, including members of the organization in question’s board of directors who have gone to those with the power to right this wrong and asked them to do so – sadly to no avail. Thank you for those who have written letters of reference, and support; more letters are most welcome.
Even after having exhausted Mathew 15:18…reconciliation attempts I still have hope that good can come out of this saga and I pray God's blessing and His true will in the lives of those who must choose between love and legalism, self-justification and true justice. Besides an apology and having repairs to my camera paid for in the least, what I'm most interested in is relational reconciliation. I have done my part and await them to do the right thing but time is fast running out.
All that others political maneuvering behind the scenes has come up with has added insult to injury. I have been asked not to divulge the details on this but here and now say this: If those who brought these skewed charges against me, now those with the power to "make this go away" do not do so by stating in writing to the courts, by this the week of Tuesday April the 10, 2007, that they will not testify against me - the truth will be “shouted from the roof tops!”
Me, and my family have been the ones truly victimized here but we will not play the part of victim – this is not a case of laying your life down for your brothers. We have been shown no love, no care, nothing...
To date I have been left with little choice but to take the advice of a Canadian lawyer and tell my accusers that I am willing to take them to court and bring the media into this. I could have done this a long time ago and they know it. At the time of being abused and thrown into jail I was feeling extremely hurt and angry. I had remained calm yet painfully perplexed as I was cuffed, processed and placed in the holding cell with thirty other prisoners, including federal inmates awaiting “Con Air” transport. I have never wanted to take these people and their organization to court. I thought I was dealing with fellow believers in and lovers of Jesus Christ. These people who claim to champion the rights of women and believe that the unborn fetus should be regarded as a person worthy of dignity and respect, failed to treat me as a person.
Coming Up Next:
Punishment Fits The Crime: #3 in Series PART 2
I am an abortion survivor who has sacrificed much to help bring truth, life, love, hope and healing to others. And this organization knew this truth…
This post is dedicated to 'Miscellaneous Woman's Name' wants to be your friend " with scantily clad, suggestive profile photo and promise of more photos and "friendship".
This post is also dedicated to you, and with thanks to Jim Anderson and his family for his ministry to our sisters, mothers and daughters.
While in the U.S. late last year working on the Aborted Artist documentary I had the pleasure of meeting and interviewing Jim Anderson of Lifeline Ministries International. And what stood out in my mind the most from listening to the CD's he gave me was the story of when one of his daughters asked him why a woman she saw was showing a lot of skin where clothing would normally have been - he gently responded, "Oh honey, she didn't get enough hugs from Daddy."
Who didn't get enough hugs from Daddy? 'Healthy hugs' I must add - sadly. And then there are many daughters who were abandoned or lost their Daddy's to tragic circumstances, like accidents, wars and natural disasters.
The disaster of brokenhearted daughters is all but natural - it is a symptom of our choices made in this world. Something to think about - especially if you're male - is how we view and treat girls and women will have lasting positive or negative repercussions on them, on us and on others they and we related to. Life is about relationships, the healthier we are, the healthier our relationships are, the healthier our choices, the healthier and happier our lives are and our world would be.
I hope this has somehow been helpful and healthful for you and those you love! If it has, please pass it on.
